Dial-a-Dilation
Here’s something on the list of things freaking me out today. Very close to home too. Seriously, with friends like that…
I spent the morning getting stuff stuck in places that I otherwise wouldn’t stick foreign objects. Mainly q-tips and a strange man’s hands. Let me tell you, nothing will quite wake you up in the morning like a q-tip to the ass.
Turns out I’m a fingertip dilated. A fingertip? I don’t even understand what that means. I’m also 50% effaced, so the cervix is thinning out. Yay! That’s better than Tuesday, when my cervix was closed tight and just starting to soften.
Now that I’ve bored you with the intimate details of my lady parts, I want to say THANK YOU to Jeanette, who rose to the challenge of my pathetic plea to outdo Pup in sending me baby gifts. I was (halfway) kidding (I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t like getting gifts in the mail?), but she sent me the Diaper Genie from my Target registry. JEANETTE, YOU ROCK!!! I was torn between buying myself the Diaper Genie or just getting a cheap diaper pail. Thanks for making that decision easy for me.
You people I’ve never met before are AWESOME.
I hope you all have a great weekend.
I spent the morning getting stuff stuck in places that I otherwise wouldn’t stick foreign objects. Mainly q-tips and a strange man’s hands. Let me tell you, nothing will quite wake you up in the morning like a q-tip to the ass.
Turns out I’m a fingertip dilated. A fingertip? I don’t even understand what that means. I’m also 50% effaced, so the cervix is thinning out. Yay! That’s better than Tuesday, when my cervix was closed tight and just starting to soften.
Now that I’ve bored you with the intimate details of my lady parts, I want to say THANK YOU to Jeanette, who rose to the challenge of my pathetic plea to outdo Pup in sending me baby gifts. I was (halfway) kidding (I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t like getting gifts in the mail?), but she sent me the Diaper Genie from my Target registry. JEANETTE, YOU ROCK!!! I was torn between buying myself the Diaper Genie or just getting a cheap diaper pail. Thanks for making that decision easy for me.
You people I’ve never met before are AWESOME.
I hope you all have a great weekend.
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