Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Baby Love

A few weeks ago, I felt worried about how I was going to be with a baby. I’ve never really been into babies. Sure, they’re cute, but they scream and they poop and you have to pay constant attention to them. Am I really ready for that?

Lately when Fuzzball moves around in there, I can feel exactly where he/she is. I’m able to poke his/her little feet, knees, and bum. It’s so neat to feel those body parts. It’s even better when he/she responds and pokes back.

Just touching my belly I know I’m already in love. I love this baby. I love this creature that I’ve never met, that I’ve never even seen other than alien pictures on a black and white screen. I’m not sure when this connection happened, if it’s been a gradual thing or something that happened overnight, but it’s certainly there. An unmistakable feeling of love and joy and a bunch of emotions ranging from fear and anticipation to excitement and happiness. And it’s all stuff I’ve never felt before. Not like this.

Sometimes I can’t help but pull my belly out and just look at it and touch it. I can’t believe what it contains, and I can’t believe that what’s been growing in there for so long is going to come out soon.

I’m going to be a mom.

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