Tuesday, September 04, 2012


My weekend was off the rails, yo. In a bad way. We went camping. Ryan’s dad made this UH-MAZE-ING caramel popcorn. The hull-less kind. OMG I ate the SHIT out of that stuff. I had pizza Friday night. I promptly broke out in a constellation of zits across my chin and eczema on my hand. Gluten SUCKS. I had mac and cheese. Chips. CAKE. ICE CREAM. I’m skerred to look at the scale.

The good news is, the shirt I’m wearing today is too big. The bad news? It’s too big. But I’m bloated as hell.

Speaking of being bloated, I’m going to start a Pilates challenge today for the month of September. I will post before and after photos, which I guarantee you will be skerry as shit. There's just something about having babies that just fucks your world up. I wasn't crazy about my bellah to begin with. Needless to say, my abs/core need some help. As do I. I’m feeling absolutely miserable today. I don’t want to be at work. I’m cranky. I want to be at home with Fallon, cleaning my house and doing laundry. Instead I have to waste my time here, rush home to meet my mom with Lyric for Girl Scouts, and then I probably won’t GET home until almost 8. Dinner? Ha. I hope I get time to run this week. 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Sum sum summertime... ends!

Lyric starts first grade tomorrow. Seriously? WTF. Wasn't I JUST complaining about STILL being pregnant with her? How is it possible that she's almost 7? Why am I old? I can't believe it. I'm staying home tomorrow morning to put her on the bus, and then I'll be off to work. She loves school - I hope that trend continues. She just loves being around other kids - the learning is just a small part of it to her.

She's a super bright, active kid. Tons of energy, but she doesn't use it right. If I asked her to go for a run with me, she wouldn't, but she'd run and jump on the couch for an hour. I try to keep her as active as I can, but it's hard sometimes. She's also got a lot of little quirks - just like her mom. She can be very fearful of certain things - going upstairs by herself or touching the recycling bin because she saw a bug on it once. I was the same way, but it's hard to remember how patient my parents must have been with me when I was little. Either that, or I wasn't as expressive about my fears as Lyric is - which is probably the case. I hid a lot of stuff. I didn't want to be weird. I'm glad Lyric feels she can talk to me, I just hope she always does, and that I can be a good and patient mom. Easier said than done.

Fallon is a different story.

She's a wild one. My kids are pretty opposite. Except for that "excess energy" thing. They've got that much covered.

I love that Fallon is starting to talk SO much. Her language is absolutely exploding. She burps and says "scoose me!" and climbs the slide and yells "Mommy I DID IT!" It's adorable. I wish I could keep her itty bitty forevs. It's my favorite. I heart toddlers. Especially mine. It's weird when you try to love up other people's toddlers - they tend to not appreciate it much.

As for me, I'm still doing this Paleo thing. And it's working for me when nothing else would. My body simply cannot handle gluten/grains, I think. I get incredibly bloated and feel horrible. So this is a good discovery. I've lost 10 pounds this month! 5 of which I kept gaining and then losing, but now I'm finally to a weight that I haven't seen in forever, which is nice. This morning I weighed 174.6. I'm hoping to see the 160's soon - I haven't been there since 2008.

My training has been pretty loosey goosey, but oh well EFF IT. I don't think I can do this half. I don't have time for the training. If I worked closer to home, maybe. If I was still a SAMH, deff. I'm not giving up by any means, but I don't think I can do that distance when the furthest I've run is 6.3 miles. It's in a month and a half. I do want to run another 10k and even a 5k soon. I plan to do the Turkey Trot in Butler again this year - it was my first 5k and I want to beat my time from last year! Go me! I'm also anxiously awaiting a call for a job interview - please keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm pretty miserable where I am right now. If I have to make one more editable pdf I'm going to effin scream. That is all.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

W to the F

For a week or so I've been experiencing this weird stomach pain at work. Only at work. I thought it was stress related - that I hate my job so bad that it physically makes me ill (which could be true - it's not one of the best jobs ever). Today I finally put it together. I've been eating almond butter on celery! THAT'S making me sick! I have a weird, sudden almond intolerance! Which makes complete sense, because I got REALLY sick a few weeks ago after mowing down a bunch of almonds. Like, I had to go lay down in the women's locker room at work sick. So now I need to find a new snack. I can stomach PB ok, but that's a legume, which is a Paleo No. Sad times! I was doing natural PB on my celery until I started going more Paleo. But it seems that almond is more gut irritating to me. And just plain celery isn't going to cut it.

I took a week off from running. Not that I really had a choice - I've had a swollen ankle from my injury (I still haven't gotten that taken care of) and Fallon had strep and pneumonia. I wasn't feeling the greatest either. But I'm much better now. Even though my foot was still a little iffy, I took a walk at lunch today, and ran the last leg of it and it felt GLORIOUS. If only I didn't have to go back to work - I might have ran another hour and 20 minutes. *snicker*

I'm down another pound this week! Woot!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Cavegirl can't run

Ok, so I talked a little bit about doing the Paleo thing last time. I'm about 85% there - I have yet to fully eliminate dairy (I love cream in my coffee, although So Delicious makes a wonderful coconut milk creamer, but it's hard to find in my town - go figure), and I haven't yet eliminated artificial sweetner (I've been using Ideal, which is a xylitol sweetner - basically made of plant sugar alchohol) which is a Paleo No. And yes, grass fed beef is hard to come by around my area (strange with so many farms, right?), so I try to stick with lean meats. I've lost a few lbs since last week, so that makes me happy. And I feel pretty good. This way of eating makes a lot of sense to me. Can I get the whole family on board? Probably not. But I'll do what I can.

So I had a 10K last Saturday and it was sort of a disaster. I will say I've only ever ran in one race before - a 5K. I thought 3 weeks of training and only two 6 mile runs would suffice. It did not. First things first - I slipped and fell on Friday night and initially, while writhing on the floor in pain, thought I broke my ankle. After a minute I was able to limp around, but my foot HURT. It still hurt in the morning, but felt better with my running shoes on, since it had some support. So there was that. Also, it was INCREDIBLY hot and humid that morning, and while my pace for my first mile was good - about a 10 minute mile, which is fantastic for me, I quickly slowed down. Then slowed down more. And by my third mile at the turnaround point, I was walking the whole way back. I literally felt like I was going to pass out from the heat, so I didn't want to push myself. The downside of that? There were only 38 people racing. And guess who came in last at 1:21 with a pace of 13:12/M? The only thing that kept me going was the thought of a banana and some gatorade at the finish. I literally collapsed into the dirt when I was done. I've never been so exhausted or sweaty in my life. Even Lyric told me I stunk.

I felt so incredibly defeated, and I've been kicking myself for signing up for that half. There is NO WAY I'm going to be ready in time. Great attitude, right? But if I can't even run for a full 3 miles, I highly doubt an added 10 is going to go over well with my body. But I'll keep on keeping on with my training. Miracles occasionally happen.

And my foot STILL hurts. But not as bad. I'm ready to go for another run. 

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Carbs are the devil

At least for me, I think. So I’m trying to low-carb it for a while. I’m on My Fitness Pal (elosquirrel – look me up!) and people on there are CRAZY anti-low carb. It’s so weird. I’m on the verge of saying eff it and just going full blown Paleo, but I need to read more from Robb Wolf.

I’m running my 10K this weekend – I’m nervous. I’m probably going to come in dead last, but hey, at least I’ll finish, right? I took Fallon for a 6.2 mile run on Sunday and it took me an hour and a half. Sheesh. Slower than molasses, people. I just need to walk sometimes, you know? 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

(No) Doubt

I went for a run the other day. It still makes me giggle/roll my eyes when I say that. I don't think I'll ever think of myself as a runner. I'm not. Right? I just "sort of" run. I'm slow. I take walk breaks. I'm still chubby. Does that equal runner? You tell me.

I'm starting to freak out about this half marathon. What was I thinking? I did 4.5 miles with Lyric riding her bike, pushing Fallon in the jogging stroller, and about died. And yes, I have a run scheduled tonight.

The nights I don't run, I try to ride my bike. I LOVE my bike. It's so fun. And I'm excited it's something I can do with Lyric - we rode 3.5 miles last night (part of it in the dark - I know she was getting freaked out). There's a trail near us that is perfect for running and biking, and most days, I itch to be there. It's where I started running, and I love it - it's my happy place. And I'm the type of person who NEEDS a happy place.

And shoes.

I'm going to take a baby step and run a 10K next weekend. We'll see how it goes.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Just half crazy

 On Friday I did something just plain NUTS and signed up for a half marathon. Holy shit, internet – what did I just do? Ok, so last year I started running. Pretty amazeballs considering I’ve never been athletic, and after being a smoker for too many years, I had no idea I could even attempt to run. But I did it – I completed the Couch to 5K program last fall and ran my first 5K on November 12 – just a few days after Fallon’s first birthday. It was such an awesome feeling of accomplishment – even if my time was pretty sucky – it was somewhere around 37 minutes. I’m not a fast runner by any means. Sometimes I feel like I could walk faster than I run. And then I just stopped. And I’d go for a random jog here and there – but nothing to keep myself in running shape.

I’m stupid.

So now it’s like I’m doing the couch to half-marathon training – luckily I have about 12 weeks to get my ass back into shape. I’m hoping this time will yield me some weight loss. When I was running before, I felt great – I didn’t really lose weight, but I wasn’t really watching my diet that well either. Now I’m kind of obsessive about what I eat, but I suck at staying consistent with my diet on the weekends – I go off the rails. I need to have a goal – and I remember last year when I first started running, I saw pictures from this half marathon and thought – I bet I could run that next year!

Yeah… about that…

I started training yesterday – Sundays are going to be my long runs/walks (cause I can’t run for an hour straight just yet). I have a gym at my new job, so treadmill access is a good thing on super hot days. This race is in October – yay for fall. I just have to stick to my schedule and keep going.

Is it weird that I haven’t told my husband yet? I’m afraid he’s going to laugh at me. Or scoff. I remember telling him I signed up for my 5K and he told me I’d never do it.  I SHOWED HIM. And I’ll do it again!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

So it always starts out like this –

I’m fat. There, I said it. Ok, maybe not as fat as some people. But I’m 30 pounds over where I want to be, and that’s a lot. And I can’t get it to MOVE. I started running last year. RUNNING! 3 days a week – and going from nothing to 3 days a week of running is something. I started the C25K in August, and ran my first 5K in November. You know how much weight I lost? NADA. Zilch. Zero. Zip. Although my pants fit a little better. That’s something, right?

I took a hiatus from running over the winter, and I was pretty amazed at how easy it is to fall out of shape. And yup, it’s summer again, and I can’t run a mile without walking – again. So I’m trying to get back into running shape. I’m also trying to eat in a way that doesn’t resemble a bovine. Although if I was a grass fed bovine, that wouldn’t be so bad, right?

I had my thyroid checked a few weeks ago, because I have the symptoms of being hypothyroid. My results came back normal. WHAT. So I’m stumped. I did Weight Watchers for two months, religiously tracking, and lost NOTHING. I’m not sure what I’m missing. I’m just TIRED of feeling this way. Feeling shitty. Feeling like my pants are way too tight. Looking in the mirror and hating what I see. It sucks. So I’m laying it out on the line. I need motivation, inspiration, and the will to do this. 

My Annual Post!

Isn't that ridiculous? It's been a year. Lots of stuff happens in that amount of time. WTF, me? I suck, I'm lazy, blah, blah, blah. Oh well.

So yesterday I had this nice big post written, with pictures of the kids and what we've been up to. Then my browser crashed and I lost the whole thing. EmEffer!!! But I'm still here - plugging away at life - being a mom, working a new full time job and my old part time job, and dealing with ME (which is a full time job in itself).

I'll post more soon - promise. Here's a picture of Lyric and Fallon from the 4th: