Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A pain in the ass. Literally.

Last Thursday night, I decided to go down to the basement to watch Iron Chef, much like I do every week. I like to do that because after my baby is asleep, I sneak away to smoke cigarettes and snort lines off of Rocky’s snout. Then Ryan and I call up some hookers, have a good time, and then – only then – can I go to sleep.

Iron Chef makes me think of my brother, who is currently working as a chef in California. After his car wreck/reality check he decided to get as far away from us as possible, you know, us as in the people who were there for him when we thought he was going to die. I’m saying that sarcastically, of course, because I fully support my brother getting out of town – Butler is a good place for people like Ryan and I, who have a family and also have our heads on straight and have a good thing going. It’s not, however, a good place for people who are younger and less mature with no responsibilities – like kids- and live with their mothers. Drugs, man, drugs. So he moved off to Humboldt County, California, a place where you can easily get a license to legally grow “medicinal” marijuana. You know, to use for stuff like... oh... say, period cramps or headaches or hippies that want a legal reason to get high so they get their doctors to tell them they have anxiety. Yeah. I wish I lived there so I could easily medicate my, ahem, anxiety. Dude.

Anyway, I watch Iron Chef on Thursday nights, right after I watch the Office while nursing Lyric to sleep. That’s right, Lyric is 15 months and still nursing. Talk about hippies. While I’d love to wean her, number one, I have no idea how to get her away from my boobs. She’s always been a boob junkie, and at this point now it’s more of a source of comfort for her, and I have to admit, for myself as well. When she wants the boob she goes for it, pulling up my shirt, which can be awkward around the public, as you can imagine. Number 2, I like my boobs the size they are. I bought new bras a month or so ago, and I enjoy being a large C cup. I don’t want to go back to B. B is for “before baby boobies.”

I’m making a short story long.

So, as always, I headed down the basement steps. I was in my pjs, socks on, of course, because the socks can’t come off until I’m snugly in bed, with warm feet. As soon as I slip those socks off my feet, I’m out. At the end of the week, I have to remove all the socks from the foot of my bed. Don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about.

I hit the 3rd step down on the stairs when my socked foot slipped out from under me. I knew what was happening and my arms flew up, but my hands hit the handrails so hard that they bounced off, and my ass hit the edge of the stairs with such force that the wind was knocked out of me. My left elbow hit something on the way down as well. I was rapidly bounding down the rest of the hard wood stairs on my ass until I hit the concrete floor at the bottom. I’m fairly sure that the sound that came out of my mouth resembled something like what a female cat in heat sounds like.

As I writhed at the bottom of the stairs, half in pain, half laughing at what a stupid ass I am, Ryan appeared at the doorway at the top of the stairs in a panic, having heard the large thud that my ass made and my cat-like screech/grunt. It took me a few minutes to get up with his help, and he lovingly called me a retard and I sat down very gingerly in the recliner for a desperately needed fix of nicotine. After that fall, what I really needed was some medicinal marijuana. Stupid Pennsylvania needs to get with the times, man.

My butt and my elbow were throbbing, as were both of my hands that hit the railing. Sitting felt GREAT, but not nearly as good as trying to roll over on to my right side in bed. Friday I revealed what is probably my largest bruise ever on my right butt cheek. It’s probably 2 inches wide and 5 inches across. I showed my mom when I went to pick up Lyric and she made me show my dad. My dad probably hasn’t seen my ass since I was Lyric’s age.

That bruise is magnificent. Lesson learned: walk down the stairs with caution. The pain is still there. Good thing my pride had nothing to lose.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Crazy Picture Post

Mmm... organic fruit snacks in the car!

Miss Can't Stop Walking Everywhere!

And she loves to crawl into things... it's mainly drawers, but this lottery cart at the American Legion works nicely too.

Weeeee! Having fun in the snow!

Here she's a little irritated because all this weird, cold, white stuff is on her foot.

Rocky... he loves us. Because we love to torture him.

Unfortunately, this is what happens to him when I'm stuck in the house for 2 days because of the snow. I love that dog. I MEAN IT.

Thank you, Blogger, for letting me upload pictures, finally.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Surviving Mother Nature's Fury

Ok, so "fury" is kind of an overstatement. We did however, get a foot of snow and ice. I didn't go to work for 2 days. But I'm not complaining about that.

And I took Lyric for her first sled ride. That was fun and also cute.

Does anyone else think that the new Blogger beta sucks? Of course, a lot of people out there have switched to wordpress, but I think wordpress sucks worse. Now I have to sign in twice and my images won't upload. Gah.

I was going to post some pictures of Lyric on her sled, but blogger is being a bitch, so eff it. I'll upload them to photobucket later, which is RELIABLE.

For now, I'm sleepy.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Monday blah blah blah

So... the Grammys. Um, maybe it's just me, but I really don't get what the big deal is about Mary J. Blige. I don't think she's all that good. And the girls that you got to vote for to sing with Justin Timberlake? How could you even choose? It was like someone cloned one girl twice. They all looked the same and sounded the same. And the girl that won? Totally forgettable. What was her name?

The Police. Rock.

John Mayer looks like Edward Scissorhands, only chubby.

I got my hair colored on Friday. It's really dark, with some gold highlights. I'll have to take some pictures.

I designed a logo for a woman who is on the same toddler discussion board as me. She just so happens to own a dog collar business, and she's shutting down her website and has some good deals going on. She's sending me a collar for Rocky. If you're a dog owner, you should check out her stuff.

We're supposed to get 4 to 8 inches of snow and ice dumped on us in the next 2 days. That sure makes driving the 30 miles to work sound fun. Working from home this week may be a viable option.

I gave up on Weffriddles at number 38. I suck.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Root Canals and other medical things

I had my first root canal today. Probably some of you remember that I've been bitching about one of my teeth, one that a few years back, I broke on a piece of gum. I had that fixed, thankfully.

The last filling I got hurt like hell. I think they were afraid to really novacaine me up, since I was with fuzzball, and I almost cried the entire time they were filling it. It sucked. So when they told me that the formerly broken tooth needed a filling, I put it off. Especially since I had no dental.

Since I have dental now, I thought it would be a good time to start up my annual tooth cleanings again, and wasn't suprised to discover that I needed a root canal in that tooth. And another one. I went to a different dentist this time. As I sat in the chair this morning, as the dentist was preparing to numb me, he looked at me and asked if I was nervous. I lied, "a little." He told me not to worry... yeah, I've heard that before.

The drilling started very quickly. He was precise and fast, and the drilling was over in no time. I felt a few twinges here and there, but nothing like when I had my last filling, at the dentist who didn't care about my pain. I decided that I'm in love with my new dentist. I was out of there faster than I ever was for a filling at my last dentist, with a little stub of a tooth that will eventually need a crown put on it.

And I was all worried.


My mom called me the other day at work to inform me that some test results of my dad's showed that he has a possible aneurysm in his brain. Yesterday I took the day off and drove them to UPMC McKeesport to consult with a specialist. Thankfully, the specialist didn't seem too worried, he said that it's probably nothing, so my dad will do a CAT scan on Monday to see what's going on.

All these years I've been telling him to have his head examined. Sheesh.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Addicted to...


Although I'm stuck on level 16. Since yesterday afternoon. Goddamnit.