Wednesday, December 29, 2004


Hi. How’s everybody been? Super cool here, thanks.

Today was the first normal day at work in the longest time. Normal meaning that there wasn’t a guest around to pester me until about 10:00. So I was able to bee bop around and actually do my weekly work. And I was able to breathe. The kids rolled in around 1:00, right after my lunch break, with their holiday cash and gift cards. But it wasn’t so bad. I only got annoyed maybe 3 times today, as opposed to 20. For the most part I was in a good mood. I didn’t even realize I was in a good mood until somebody I work with pointed it out. Then I was like, oh yeah, that’s why I feel so different today. I’m almost back to normal, happy E-Lo. I’ll be fully restored in a few weeks.

I’m looking forward to the new year. I like the feeling of starting fresh, even though all that will really change is the date. But I’m hoping this year will bring lots of good stuff, instead of the mostly crappy stuff I’ve been dealing with for the past couple years. Mainly I hope that this will be the year that I’ll find a job that isn’t related to what I’m doing now. Because I certainly can’t take another year in retail. How do people do this job their whole lives? I can’t understand it.

I hope that the new year is full of happiness, prosperity, and good health for all of my friends out there in blogger-ville. Much love to all yinz guys.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Thursday Thoughts

I didn’t manage to sleep the entire day Tuesday, but I almost managed that today. I woke up at 1:30.

I broke my tooth last night on a piece of gum. Let me repeat: on a piece of gum.

I just saw on the news that there is an actual business out there that will clone your cat for you. So when your cat dies, for the low low price of $50,000, they’ll make you a replica. Can we say Pet Semetary?

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I have to be at work at 6 in the morning. Should I be happy?

On New Years Eve I work until 11, then I have to open on New Years Day. What a crock.

It’s supposed to snow 1 to 3 inches here today. This morning it was raining, and now it’s just windy. I’ll be pissed if it doesn’t snow. I need snow this year for Christmas.

I fell asleep on the couch last night, and I woke up with my husband next to me. I don’t know what possessed him to get on the couch with me, but it was so freakin’ uncomfortable.

My tongue won’t keep away from the sharp little point that is my broken tooth. So annoying.

People are still asking me for Three.

I can’t believe I’ve survived working in retail this season. I need a t-shirt that says: I survived Holiday 2004 with a big bullseye on it.

Work gave me a red windbreaker for Christmas. I don’t know if I’ll ever wear it, but it was a nice thought.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you all get what you wish for. I'm wishing for it to be over, which I know will happen soon enough.

Monday, December 20, 2004

It's All Good Though...

So we’re into the final stretch. 4 more days after today. And I only have to work today, Wednesday, and Friday. Yee freakin’ haw.

I’ve spent my weekend telling all the last minute shoppers that we’re out of just about everything that they want. Cameras, video games, CDs, i-pods, stereos, you name it. We’re out. My shelves are bare. This is my fourth night in a row working until midnight or later, so I’m feeling a little over extended. And I have yet to finish my own Christmas shopping. Plus my house need cleaned, I need to do laundry, I haven’t shaved for over a week, I need a haircut, my nail polish is beyond chipped, and I think the only thing I have in my refrigerator is pierogies and beer. At least that’s a good combination.

I’m off tomorrow. I may sleep until Wednesday.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

9 Days and Counting

Tuesday is new release day. And since my department works in conjunction with the entertainment department, I get a lot of questions about what movies, books, and music we have. So this past Tuesday a woman came up to my counter and asked me, "Do you have the movie Three?" "Three?" I asked, puzzled. "I’ve never heard of it, but let me look at our listing." So I checked our dvd list and couldn’t find it. "Hmm, I don’t have it listed…" The lady then got this totally exasperated look on her face and rolled her eyes and said, "You don’t have it? It’s the new Dale Earnheardt movie!" Her tone told me, "Duh, you should know this!" And I wanted to say, Seriously? They made a NASCAR movie? About a guy who died while racing? And you want to buy it? Okaaaayyy…

Yeah, I’m not a NASCAR fan. I’d rather watch football any day over cars going in a circle. The people that are fans amaze me. Most of them are not just fans, they’re fanatics. With those jackets, and their number decals on their mini-vans… I just don’t get it. And I’ve heard the argument about how physically taxing it is to drive those cars, and how in shape the drivers are, and the stress of driving really fast in a circle. But that doesn’t make it any more interesting for me. So this woman’s attitude with me about NOT knowing about this movie mystified me. God forbid. Excuse me.

My cold is still hanging on, but I’ve gone from dry hack to productive hack. I’m sure you wanted to know that. I coughed so much at work yesterday that my eyes were watering and my nose was red, and I was just a mess. At that point one of my managers came up and asked me if I needed to go home. For the most part I was fine. I stuck around and tried not to cough on my customers too much. I just get these little coughing fits every once in a while. I’m taking cold medicine that makes me feel like I’m floating, which is fun, so everything is a-ok.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Whiny E-Lo

I’ve been sick since Friday. I called off, knowing full well that I had the weekend off. So I ended up having a 3 day weekend. And I was sick the whole time. And still sick. Cough.

I went to visit with the insurance man this morning, after a major struggle to get my car out of the driveway because of the fucking blizzard we had here, and ended up a bit disappointed. It seems that if I were to take the job, I would have to sell insurance. So I’d actually have to get my license to do so. And I’d only be making 55 cents more an hour than what I make now. Plus I have to learn all kinds of insurance crap on top of it. And wait 6 months for benefits (and I have them at my present job). So I’m a little leery of taking it. I’m just not as interested as I thought I’d be, which is kind of sad. I had high hopes. But I'm supposed to go back on Wednesday to take a test (which I'll probably fail since there's math involved), so I'll be weighing it out mentally for a few days.

Now I have to get ready to get my sick ass into work. Until midnight. Ahh. Retail. At least there’s only 12 more days until my hours get cut. Thank god.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Rodeo Rant

I got drunk last night and got myself in weird arguments that ended up with my being pissed off. My argument was valid, though. The bar had ESPN on and they had some sort of cow roping event going on, which I simply said I don’t agree with. There’s no need to rope cows in this day and age. It’s just not needed to survive any more. And all it really does is hurt the cow. The cows that were being chased down were baby cows, and if you know my feelings on veal, I disagree with anything that hurts baby cows. I mean, is it really necessary to lasso a baby cow, jump off a horse and tackle the cow to the ground, and hog tie it? It’s disturbing. Well, it disturbs me, anyway. And that was my argument. And the asshole I was discussing this with said, "what’s that cow’s purpose in life? Is that cow going to grow up and become the CEO of some company somewhere? No, it’s a cow. We eat them." That’s the type of stupid redneck mentality that really irritates me.

Whether I eat meat or not, I don’t agree with hurting animals for sport, even though rodeo fanatics would argue that all the shit they do doesn’t hurt the animals that they are using. Please. Cow tipping hurts cows. Wrestling cows to the ground hurts them too. And the fact that they use baby cows just shows what pussies they are. If you feel the need to gain fortune and glory by exercising your superiority over animals, then by all means, you should use an animal that matches your strength. But it probably wouldn’t be as easy, right? Besides that, rodeos are famous for cruelty to animals. There are many documented cases of animals being punched, prodded, shocked, kicked, and left to suffer with their injuries. Most of the baby cows are left with bruised or broken necks. It’s really just a form of violence dressed in baby cows clothing. It’s all cute and fun for the people who are paying to be entertained by this sick shit, but at the end the ones left suffering are the beings that can’t speak for themselves. It’s no different that the assholes that train pit bulls for dog fights. That’s illegal, so please show me the difference? And don’t even get me started about bull riding. It makes me sick.

So you see why I got pissed off. Stupid rodeo.

On a happier note, in my quest yesterday to win 171 million dollars in the powerball, I won 7 bucks. Not too shabby, since I spent 5 bucks on the ticket. I just knew it was going to be my lucky day. And I was right, since I’m 2 dollars richer. Hell yeah. I’m going to buy myself a beer with my winnings. But not today, since my brain still hurts from last night.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Oh Christmas Tree

This is my tree this year. It looks a little Charlie Brown, but that’s ok, because it was free.

Somebody bought me a nativity scene when I got married. I felt a little funny about putting it under my tree. After a bit of deliberation, I set it up yesterday afternoon. I really like the animals. But I also feel like I should have some other artifacts under there, to reflect my religious uncertainty. So I need some crafty ideas. Things that encompass the entire holiday season. Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, whatever. Any ideas? What could I make?

Even though I was raised Catholic, and my parents sent me to Catholic school, we rarely went to church. My church going days were during the week with my class. And we never had a nativity set up under our tree. My mom had this awesome antique little town that she’d always let me set up, with houses and a barn and even a little pond with a bridge and little metal cars and people. There was even a little hunter guy holding up a rifle. My brother and I would play for hours with that shit. I wish she still had that, because I’d repaint it all and set that up. My parents don’t even bother setting up a big tree anymore, which I find sort of depressing. They have this little fiber optic tree that they put up.

My dad used to go crazy with the Christmas tree. His job was to set it up, (we never had a real tree, since my parents were both neat freaks and didn’t like needles all over the place), and then he’d decorate it. Once he was done you couldn’t even tell there was a tree under there. It would be so shiny, because he’d wrap about 30 feet of garland around it and drape it with those metallic icicles. Even though they never got a real tree because of the needles, those icicles, much like plastic Easter grass, would be all over the house. And year after year when we got our tree out, there would still be icicles from the last year embedded in the needles, but he would put a fresh coating of them on. I’ve got to find some pictures of that old tree. Maybe my tree needs some crazy icicles to fill in the holes.

Only 17 days left of retail hell before all the returns start coming in.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

The Fantasies of Retail Workers

I have this little fantasy where I’m at work, helping a guest (yeah, that’s what we call our customers), and they are extremely impressed with my knowledge and expertise. Because of that, and of course my great smile and winning personality, they offer me a job working for them in a field that is vaguely related to what I’ve spent seven years in school for. They offer me great money and benefits, and I put my two weeks in on the spot.

That halfway happened to me today. And it totally caught me off guard, of course. I was helping these two men who resembled construction workers (although not as dirty as my husband is when he comes home), answering their questions about digital cameras. They both bought some camera related items and one of the guys wanted to get a credit card so he could save 10%. So as he filled out the application I chatted with them and joked about how I have to go in tomorrow at 4 in the morning, and blah, blah, blah. It was time for me to leave, so I walked them up to the service desk to put their application through and they both complimented me on how friendly and helpful I was. One of them started asking me about how long I’ve been working there, and I told him that I was there a year in October. Then he said, "well, I’m an insurance agent, even though I’m sure you wouldn’t have guessed that by the way I’m dressed, and I’m looking for a secretary. You have a great personality. You should stop by my office. I could probably pay you more than what you make here." Then he dug out his card for me. I was dumbfounded. Then his friend added, "hey, you won’t have to come in at 4 in the morning! Or on the weekends!" Which made me laugh and say, "well, that’s definitely a bonus!"

So should I email him my resume? Should I stop by his office? Would he be freaked out by my Master’s degree? Could being an insurance agent’s secretary be my true calling? And could it possibly pay more than the $8.35 an hour I make now? There is probably at least good health insurance involved.

I know it’s only half of my fantasy, but do you think that this kind of thing would possibly ever happen to me again? Doubtful.

Hmmph. At least I left work with a smile on my face.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Stick your raincheck where the sun don't shine. Thank you.

If I come through this holiday season with my brain intact, it will be a miracle. There are 24 more days until Christmas, and believe me, I’m not counting down because I can’t wait to open my presents. I want this month to be over in the worst way. If I hear the phrase, "can I have a raincheck," one more time, my head will explode. Rainchecks are the worst invention ever. Because once I give a raincheck to someone, they are going to call me every single day until their item comes in. And every single time they’ll ask, "do you have any idea when it will come in?" and I’ll say, "no, I have no clue." And they’ll call again and again and again until I’m ready to commit myself to the mental institution.

Enough about my day job. My newest piece of news is that I’m officially a free lance web designer. My sister is paying me to completely re-do her old web site (which is linked over there on my sidebar). It won't be up and running until early next year, but hopefully it will be cool. It’s been a while since I’ve created a web site, so it’s kind of fun and frustrating at the same time. Especially since last night as I was working on it my power went out. Talk about bad timing. Luckily I hadn’t done much but create the template. So this should prove to be a new and interesting experience for me. Actually getting paid to do something that I learned in school. College didn’t prepare me for the mental stress of giving out 500 rainchecks a day, but I can make a killer web page. At least that's what I think.