Friday, May 12, 2006

Who's your mommy?

I'm a member of an online discussion board who all have November 2005 babies. I found the board the week that I found out I was pregnant, and I've been there ever since. We call our babies the "November Cranbabies." Pretty cute.

A woman on the board recently asked what our thoughts were on becoming pregnant again and why depending on how the births of our cranbabies had gone.

In the spirit of Mother's Day, here's my thoughts about it, 6 months after the fact:

Well, I for one had a terrible time being pregnant, at least psychologically. Looking back I realized that I was actually pretty depressed about how my life was going to change, because I hadn't planned to get pregnant. I thought that I didn't even want kids. I was embarrassed by my growing body, and I literally FED my depression and anxiety, which in turn made me gain 75 pounds. I still have 20 pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I also had a lot of anxiety about how my labor and delivery were going to go, and I think I made it harder for myself by worrying so much about it. I spent too much time worrying about the fact that my body didn't work, and I was 12 days overdue. Looking back on that, I think they did mess up my due date, but I still would have been a week over from my due date had it been right.

I went in to the hospital after a stress test and check up because there was protein in my urine and my blood pressure was super high. Thankfully they decided to bump the woman who was scheduled to come in for an induction (funny enough, that woman ended up being my sister's best friend growing up) and keep me to induce me.

Around 2:30 pm on November 21st my midwife came in to strip my membranes. My contractions started right away. Around 8:00pm they put cervadil in, and let me take a walk. By that time things were getting REALLY painful for me. I had to pee seemingly every 5 minutes. Ryan, my mom, and my dad were with me the whole time, and helped me labor all night. I got a couple shots of Stadol through that timeframe. Some time over night, they took out my cervadil. I was at 3 cm. Around 6:00am, my water broke, and as if my contractions hadn't been painful enough, they got even worse. My nurse checked me and I was at 4cm. Time for the epidural!

Those next few hours were the longest of my life, waiting for the epidural. I think they finally showed up at 8am, and the first epi didn't work. I was literally WRITHING in pain. Thankfully I was remembering my breathing. I was freaking Ryan out because I couldn't speak. He was awesome though, he kept his cool even though he was scared to death. Finally by 11, I got another epidural that worked. I instantly relaxed and was able to sleep. (Around that time my sister's friend was admitted in the room next door, so my sis, who just happened to be in town for Thanksgiving, was running from room to room. Pretty funny.)

Finally, around 1:30, the nurse told me I was complete. I could start laboring down. So for a while there, it was just Ryan and I as I "practiced" pushing so that Lyric could move into position. At 2 the nurse came in and I started 'really" pushing. That was the hardest part, because I was exhausted, having not slept much. Around 4, my nurse called my midwife and within 5 minutes she was there getting ready to deliver. I had been pushing for 2 hours. Lyric was born at 4:14. I heard, "it's a girl! Lyric!" from my nurse and I had to smile, cause I knew it.

It was SO HARD, but I don't regret a minute of it. I had a lot of tearing, and I felt every single agnonizing stitch, but I just stared at my daughter in awe the entire time.

Now I wonder what the hell I was so worried about, because even though it was terrible and long and painful, I got a beautiful daughter out of it and I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom. The old me was such a freak!

I'd do it again. I'd just hope that my labor and delivery would happen a little faster and I'd get an epidural that works the FIRST time around. ;)

Oh, and my sister's friend delivered HER baby about 20 minutes after Lyric was born! Lucky!


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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Happy Mothers Day to you mommies out there!

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