Wednesday, March 15, 2006

So far those vibes haven't worked, Starr...

On this day last year (I start a lot of posts out like this lately), I was emailing back and forth with my friend Starr. We were considering taking a Tae Kwon Do class with my other friend Kari. I was starting to have a sneaking suspicion that Tae Kwon Do was not in my near future though.

I confided in Starr before I even told Ryan that I thought I was pregnant. I think I told Ryan on the phone that day that I was going to get a pregnancy test after work, but I don't think he was worried. We'd never had a scare before, and we thought that once we decided to start trying to have kids, it would take us a while. I, however, knew something was up with my body, because I felt, well, WEIRD. I was well over a week late, my boobs felt gigantic and hurt, and I was bloated. So I asked Starr to send me bleeding vibes.

Needless to say, she didn't.

I rushed to the store after work that day, got my 2 pack of pregnancy tests, and took them right when I got home. Ryan was supposed to have band practice, and while he was getting ready to go, I was hurriedly peeing on a stick. When the word "pregnant" very clearly appeared, all the blood rushed out of my head. I thought I was literally going to die. I dont think I'd ever felt so afraid in my life. Ryan never made it to practice. I cried for about an hour, until I realized I was going to have a baby with Ryan at some point. Why not now?

I'm so glad that sometimes things don't go the way you want them to. To think, I was afraid of this:

Talk of when number 2 is happening has already begun.

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