Monday, March 27, 2006

Because you wanted it

Seth requested pictures of what Ryan and I refer to as "knick knack hell" or what you know as the "In-Laws Bed and Breakfast." Well, I don't know if you really know what you're asking for here, but here goes:

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First, you have to start with the milk glass, because it's the first thing you see when you walk in the door. If you're not careful, you'll walk right into it, because it's strategically placed 3 feet from the door. I can't tell you how many times I've caught this fucking shelf with the diaper bag and almost pulled it over on myself. If that thing fell it would cause a catastrophe of ungodly proportions. This isn't even all of it. There's milk glass all over the house, lamps, picture frames, candle holders, you name it, and my mother in law has it in milk glass. Including the china cabinet:

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Note the giant cow. Not only does she collect milk glass, she collects cows. And the uglier, the better. That particular cow is covering the vacuum cleaner. Yes, you read that right. The vacuum is covered by a giant plush cow wearing a dress. It's no wonder I have nightmares.

Here's just a little taste of the rest of the cows:

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And the worst is when you actually dedicate entire functional shelfs, that say, you could put BOOKS on, to knick knacks. This particular shelf, much like the milk glass shelf, is placed strategically between the bathroom door and the kitchen closet. The shelf is too big for that space, so whenever Ryan and I walk out of the bathroom, our shoulders continually collide with this shelf. However, if this one falls and everything breaks on it, I won't feel bad.

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Back to my nightmares. It could be because of this shelf, which is in the bedroom. Note the owls and the scary tree guy. This shelf is the reason I cover my head with my blanket every night.

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It's not just knick knacks, it's clutter. I mean, how many picture frames can you fit in one space? Seriously?

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And these, my friends, are salt and pepper shakers.

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I know they're a little hard to see, but that's because the they're on top of the kitchen cabinets. Did I mention that they're SALT AND FUCKING PEPPER SHAKERS?

Soon I'll be making an appointment to get myself some anti-anxiety medication.


In other news: We got approved for 100% financing for a house. I just have to have a job. Our arbitration is April 11th, so keep your fingers crossed that it goes well. And that I get a job, so we can buy a house.

And my child got her first tooth. It's on the bottom right in the front. Now I'm wondering how I'm going to continue to painlessly feed her, because I swear I already feel that little stump of a tooth grinding away at my nipple when she's eating. Breastfeeding and teeth don't mix in my book. Ow.

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