Monday, July 11, 2005

The list and then some


Chicken on a woodpile. Much like chicken in a pine tree. There’s more on my flickr site, including a picture of my dad and I comparing bellies, which simply can’t be missed.

Bill pointed out to me on Saturday that I hadn’t gotten to everything on my list from last week, so I’m going to try and cover it all today. Pictures of stuff is covered, so…

Why you shouldn’t tell people the baby names you picked and how annoying it is when people are gunning for the baby to be a certain sex.

Yeah, both are just annoying. Ryan and I are people who can’t keep secrets, especially when it’s something we’re excited about. That’s why everybody knew I was pregnant when I was only 6 weeks. So when we finally agreed on names, we told people. For some reason I felt uncomfortable about it, and now I know why. Because when some nosy bastard asks you, “Oh, have you picked out names yet?” and you answer, “Yes, this one for a boy, and this one for a girl,” and they look at you like you have a disease, it makes you second guess yourself. And I don’t like second guessing myself. This has happened to Ryan so much that he wants to change our boy name. And I like our boy name, so I don’t want to. I don’t care if people are assholes and crinkle up their noses at the names I like. Next person to do that, I’m punching them. Be warned, world.

Then there are the people who are all like, “I hope it’s a girl,” or “I hope it’s a boy,” or worse yet, “What do you want?” I want a baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes who is perfect and healthy. I know what it feels like I’m having, but I refuse to share it with people because I don’t like to be wrong. And hoping that it’s one or the other makes me want to have the opposite just to spite you. And I don’t want to hope for one or the other, so shut up!

What to do when your friend tells you your ass is getting bigger.

I saw one of my old roommates from college over the weekend. We were always kind of tight, she was in my wedding and stuff, but we haven’t seen each other in months. At least not since I’ve been pregnant. Since she lives in the Clarion area, she and her boyfriend came out to camp to visit. After going on and on about how big I am, I finally sighed, exasperated, and said, “well, you know what? I’m pregnant. Six whole months pregnant. Of course I’m showing.”
“Oh, you’re six months already! Wow!”
“Yeah, I’ve been pregnant since February.”
“Wow, time is really flying. I just can’t believe how big you are.”
“Sigh.”
“The first thing I noticed was how big your butt is.”
“Snarl. Whatever.”

Ok, for those of you who are as ignorant as my dear friend was, you NEVER tell a pregnant woman that her ASS IS BIG. We are fully aware of the changes in our bodies. So much so, that it feels like our bodies are foreign. They are bodies that belong to someone much bigger than our normal selves. And no, they don’t belong to us, really. They belong to the little creature that is causing all the bigness in the first place. So yes, we are sensitive about it. Later on, I said to my mom (since we LOVE bitching about other people to each other because we are so PERFECT), “what a bitch. I can’t believe she said that.” And do you know what she said?

“Oh, everything offends you.”

I was SO offended.

And that concludes the list from last week. If you haven’t been able to tell, things are really pissing me off lately. I feel like I hold it in all the time, then when I sit down to write it all comes gushing out and that’s when I discover how angry I am.

One thing is for certain, I’m not making ANY plans for next weekend. It’s going to be a fly by the seat of my maternity pants weekend. Plans are driving me nuts. I’ve been way too busy and I just need to relax. That’s probably part of what is causing me to feel angry and stressed.

Speaking of plans, it seems that the universe didn’t want Regan and I to meet last week. That was craptastic. I was all excited about burritos and (virgin) margaritas, but everything that could have come up did, including Ryan’s mom’s trip to the hospital on Friday. But that’s a post for another day. Let’s just say for now, my mother in law is driving me crazy, AND adding to my stress levels.

It also seems that Tropical Storm Dennis, formerly known as Hurricane, is going to be stopping by Western PA later in the week. There are places around here that still aren’t quite recovered from Hurricane Ivan last year, so this will be interesting. At least Ryan will be off of work for a couple of days, and if we get the same amount of rain that we did last year, my work will be flooded as well, since I work right by the Connoquenessing Creek (ranked second only to the Mississippi River in toxic discharges from industrial plants in the United States in 2000).

I’ll also be making a big purchase this week. A television, perhaps? An i-pod? Another car? No, my good people, a crib. Yes, the nursery construction will be underway this week. And by construction I mean the part where Ryan and I try to put the crib together and he starts throwing things and tells me to leave.

It’s going to be a fun week.

Speaking of fun, go here and put your 2 cents in to the guy that has taken to personally attacking me for defending a woman who wrote a post about her dislike for Bush. His name is Jack. He thinks I'm a rat and that I'm "aiding and comforting al Queda" because I said that it's every American's right to stand up against the government and disagree. He called the original letter writer a "partisan hack" and a "dimwit." He's smart. And he's asking for a shit storm. Let him feel the wrath of the pregnant woman.

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