Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Wise Words

From Dooce: "The real crime here is not that educated women are choosing to stay at home with their children, it’s that many women who want to stay at home aren’t able to because of their circumstances."

Amen, sista, amen.

Did I ever think that I'd want to stay home with my kid? Never. When I was working my ass off to get my Masters, I thought that I was doing this to support myself and, if I ever chose to have one, my family. That the work that I was doing was going to pay off. That I was a professional, and I'd be a career woman before I was a mother.

Oh, blow on winds of change.

I'm far from a "professional." I think my job is a joke, and if I had the option to sell my soul to stay at home with my baby, I'd seriously consider selling my soul.

Unfortunately, I chose to be the "breadwinner" in my marriage, per se, with my big degree that would open the whole world up to me. Well, my big degree has snagged me a bullshit job that gets me "just okay" money and "just okay" benefits. My husband, who never finished college, makes just as much as me, sometimes more because he works a lot of overtime. Granted, he busts his ass being an asphalt worker, but I've had a lot of time in the past few months to seriously question my role in our marriage.

My number one job is mom. It's why I close my door to pump 3 times a day. It's why I go in at noon when my baby is up all night crying. And it's why I'd leave this motherfucking place in a heartbeat if my child needed me.

Dooce is so right. The crime is not that I am educated and I wish to stay at home with my baby, it's that I CAN'T.

Tomorrow I'll continue my bitching about the little things that are irking me this week, including going to court, stink bugs, scary television, and more! Woot!

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