Monday, February 13, 2006

Monday Confessional

I’ll always have fond memories of K-Mart. It’s the first place I went after giving birth to Lyric. After being cooped up in the snowy winter for a week and a half with no communication with the outside world and no ability to drive, my mom took me to an appointment at the hospital (the last place I wanted to go back to) with the lactation consultant. Afterward, she, Lyric, and I went to K-Mart. I was as exhilarated as you possibly could be hobbling around a discount department store with a stitched up hoo-ha. I’ll always think of K-Mart with the warm and fuzzies now.

I “dated” Ryan in high school. Meaning we talked on the phone a few times. Having just been dumped by a guy who turned out to be gay years down the road, a girl at my lunch table hooked me up with my future husband. I was 14, he was 15, and I thought, “hmm, here’s someone I could possibly lose my virginity to.” I was all about getting rid of that pesky virginity back then. Unfortunately, things didn’t quite work out that way. Ryan wasn’t allowed to ask me out on a date, not to mention the fact that “I didn’t know your last name!”and I ended up losing my virginity to his locker partner. Before all that went down I looked him up in the phone book (because I DID know his last name) and found his address and made my mom drive around looking for his house. I never told him that story. I never found his house back then either, but funnily enough, that’s where I live now. I also wrote something in my diary (which I still have) to the effect of, “Ryan Hayes, (which is NOT the correct spelling of his last name and that drives him nuts) what a DORK!” But that’s only because he stopped calling me.

Sometimes I put Lyric in front of the television so I can get shit done. Thank you, Baby Einstein.

I’m afraid she’ll find out about me. The REAL me. Then I won’t be the Mother Superior. I’m quite the opposite. Even worse, I’m afraid she’ll BE like me. The thought makes me sweat. That’s why she’s NOT going to Catholic school. Catholic school be damned.

We're getting our tax return this week. That extra grand you get for having a kid is such a nice perk, and I can't stop thinking of ways to spend it, even though we're supposed to be saving it for the down payment on our house. I'm addicted to shopping.

And back to TMI... Yesterday morning Ryan and I finally resumed the thing that got us into the predicament that no longer allowed us to do the thing that we did... are you following this? Anyway, Ryan tackled me, and after thinking about just jumping up and walking out of the room for fear of the pain, embarrassment of the way my body looks, and just sheer rustiness, I gave in. It was scary and kind of hurt, but that was to be expected, since I DID have the same amount of stitches in that area as someone who has had their leg sewn back on. Needless to say, I was glad I finally got it over with, and I'm sure Ryan was even happier. Even though it wasn't up to par with the normal stuff, I'm sure it will get there with practice... and I still couldn't wipe the smile off my face for most of the morning. I was almost embarrassed to face Lyric afterward, who was being such a good girl and sitting quietly in her bouncy chair... watching television...

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