Saturday, August 19, 2006

The post where I think things through

Do you ever have to take a step back sometimes in your life and wonder, "how the fuck did I get here?"

I do that all the time. When Ryan and I first started dating I used to think to myself, "oh my god, I'm having sex with HIM?" Not because it was a bad thing, but because I've known him, like, forever.

I often say to myself that it's a great thing I have such a good sense of humor, because if I didn't, I'd be living in a padded room somewhere.

I had my job basically pulled out from under me. Yesterday I went to meet with the guy, who told me on the phone on Thursday that we would go to lunch. I thought, wow, that's cool, my boss is taking me to lunch. Nice! Instead when I got there he took me to his office, sat me down and basically told me how they had hired someone else part time, he was being sued, and he had lost a 200K a year client all because his nephew, who is his graphic designer, sucks. He flat out said, "I can't fire my nephew." Um, excuse me, but if your nephew just caused you to lose THAT much money, it would be in your best interest to say, "kid, I love you, but you're killing me. Later!" At that moment I looked at him and thought, "you're an idiot." Then I thought, "uh oh, I already think my boss is an idiot and I don't even work for him yet... eject, eject!!!"

Among other things, I don't think it's going to work out with him. He seems fairly unstable.

Sadly enough, I've had enough of small businesses. They don't get you anywhere except for stuck.

Sooooo... sick as it is, I'm back to square one. The same square that this circle was stuck in for years. Retail. I of course got offered a job by the boobie looker man. Why wouldn't I? I've worked in retail for years and I have great boobs. There are some things that I'm just plain great at. And I've got to escape that horrible office that I'm in. As much as I love the women I work with, the fact is we're stuck working for a very sexist boss, who is just plain mean (if by mean you mean psycho), and for the year and a half that I've been there, he's changed my job 4 times, laid me off, took away my 401k and benefits, and I haven't had a raise.

The new place is offering me very comparable pay, which in 60 days will increase to more than what I make now, great benefits, and although I'll have to work evenings and weekends, I'm really thinking about it.

At the same time I'm thinking, I'm almost 30. I have a child. I have a masters degree. Shouldn't I be past this point in my life? Why why why?

I just don't know. I have to do something though. In the mean time my eyes are wide open.

No comments: