Saturday started off like any normal, less than exciting day. Actually, it was kind of exciting, because Lyric and I walked up the street to watch the little football players pep rally, and that involved E-Lo getting some much needed social interaction with other moms, which was cool.
Then we took a nap and decided to go out and about. We went shopping for a while, and since it was Saturday evening, I decided to get a Sunday Butler Eagle. I’m a stickler for getting the Butler Eagle every weekend. In my opinion, Sunday’s Eagle is the only one worth getting. I must get it every. Single. Weekend. So I stopped at one of those paper dispenser things outside of one of the stores I was at, and to my dismay, it only took quarters. The Sunday Eagle is 75 cents, and I had 2 quarters along with 2 dimes and a nickel. So I weighed my options. I could stop at Sheetz, leaving my baby in the car while I ran in for a paper, or I could pull over at another paper dispenser, only leaving my baby for a second. The latter sounded best, mommy-wise, so I pulled over in front of Blockbusters and Aldi and hopped out to grab the paper. It took me a couple tries as always to wrestle the paper out of the thing, but I managed it and walked back around to the drivers side and pulled on the door handle and almost fell on my ass when it wouldn’t budge. The doors! Had locked! But… baby… inside… car… running… panic… what… help… can’t… think…
Of course my brain stopped functioning correctly for at least a full minute as I ran around in circles like a headless chicken. I ran into Aldi, which was swarmed with people, and after about 5 seconds I ran back out and peeked in the back window of my illegally parked van at my daughter, who was chillin in her car seat in the AC listening to Fleetwood Mac, like a good girl. My brain, which still was not quite functioning, told me to find something to break the windows. Then my logic and reasoning skills kicked in and said, “E-Lo, there’s a better way. Take it down a notch.” After a few deep breaths, I called Ryan. Mistake! He was on his way home from work, about 20 miles away in a company vehicle. He was just as panicked as I was. I decided to call the police. I called information to have them connect me, and they connected me with Butler City. I needed Butler Township. They told me to call 911.
“What’s your emergency?”
“Um… it’s not really an emergency… I locked my keys in my van-“
“Mam, you’ll have to call a tow truck-“
“Well, my baby is locked inside.”
“Oh. Well, we’ll call a tow truck for you. In the meantime we’ll send an officer.”
So a policeman came, about 5 minutes after my call. I was practically peeing my pants. I was parked in front of 2 busy stores, there were pedestrians everywhere, and I was totally embarrassed. So when the patrol car rolled up, I was almost in tears, especially since Lyric had caught on that something was weird, since her mom was standing outside the minivan staring in at her instead of letting her out! Which is where she always wants to be!
The policeman asked me how I was doing. Then he commented that I was probably a nervous wreck. I agreed. He told me a tow truck was on the way and that their insurance doesn’t let them open cars anymore, which I knew, but I didn’t care because I just wanted my baby out of the van and screw their damn insurance! Ahem. Anyway, after what seemed like an eternity of silence (probably about 30 seconds had elapsed) my cell phone rang. It was Ryan. He was 5 minutes away. Huh? How did he go from 20 miles to 5 minutes in a matter of 10 minutes? So I figured I’d wait and see who got there first, Ryan’s dump truck or the policeman’s tow truck. Sure enough the dump truck came racing into the parking lot 1.2 minutes later.
That dump truck didn’t know it could go that fast.
Needless to say, Ryan saved the day. Or maybe it was Jimmy, his co-worker, who flew through Southern Butler County to save my baby. At any rate, I was relieved, although seriously humiliated and kicking myself for just not saying screw the paper, I’m going home.
I’m sure it’s only the first of many mommy mishaps.