Friday, May 06, 2005

The Peeps That Find Me... You Could Be One Of Them!

It’s come time again to post some of the searches that have lead people to my site. I’m sure that in most cases, they were sorely disappointed when they got here. Here’s a few of my favorites:

hate apa: Oh yeah, I hate APA too. Goddamn APA. Stupid American Psychological Association and your stupid design for writing papers! I hate you!

Rabid German Shepherds: I don’t think I’ve ever discussed anything being rabid… or any German Shepards. But I certainly wouldn’t want to cross paths with a rabid German Shepard. I like a good adventure every once in a while, but I’m not going there. Uh uh.

a mare's vagina stories: Oh yes, the mare’s vagina. I search for that every day myself. What kind of sick mother effer (trying to cut down on my swearing; having a kid) are you?

padded boobs: Really? You have an interest in that? Mine no longer need padding, they’re quite mommy-rific, so I’m sorry to disappoint.

story of the fucking squirrel in the forest: The fucking (whoops) squirrel in the forest? Who would use that as a search phrase? GOSH.

fantasy rapist stories: Yeah… uh… how ‘bout you just go away, hmm?

butt crack discomfort: Well, I’m very sorry to hear about that. What a place to experience discomfort. I have lower back discomfort, and pains in my uterus when I sneeze, so I can relate. Get some butt paste, I’m sure it will clear right up.

wicca "Clarion County" pa: I’m not, nor do I live there any more. But I have lots of books on the former, and lots of good stories about the latter, so I’d be happy to discuss.

jerkoff buddy stories: Why do the homoerotic porn seekers always seem to find me? Why?

squirrel drinking coffee: Well, can’t say I’ve ever seen that. But I’ll let you know as soon as I do.

needed to pee in bathroom stories : Yes, that’s typically where you need to pee… the bathroom. You want a story about it? About 15 minutes ago, I got up from my desk, walked down the hall, went into the bathroom, locked the door, pulled down my too tight jeans, sat on the toilet, and peed. The end.

Oh… it’s amazing, isn’t it? And it all somehow links to me. I’m so proud.

And I should mention I was just kidding about the swearing. Fucking sickos.

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