Monday, April 11, 2005

Squirrels Like Trees

Occasionally I like to torment myself for weeks on end by arguing with people about politics and religion. I’m so opinionated on some things that it frustrates me to no end when I see things that conflict with my views. Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? It is in some ways, but a lot of the time I have the right to be frustrated. I almost don’t want to post this because I feel like I need to censor myself, but I think it’s something I need to get off my chest. I'm not aiming to offend anyone purposely.

I’m a fairly logical person. I like fantasy when it includes me winning the Powerball and never having to work another day in my life. I don’t like fantasy when it interferes with the way the world actually works. For instance, the Bible. It’s an interesting book full of fantastical tales, some of which have good lessons, and some of which tell you that if a child disrespects a parent, stone them to death. If a woman that’s engaged gets pregnant to a rapist, stone HER to death. But don’t forget to go to church and love everyone! I find it all a little confusing and at some points, disgusting. I think it’s insane to believe that women were made from the singular rib bone of a man. Call me feminist, but I know where I came from... my mama. I was raised as a Catholic, as many of you already know, and I went to Catholic school for 9 years. That’s a whole lot of brainwashing. So it’s taken me some time to get over my guilt of my questioning nature. I don’t begrudge any Christian their beliefs, as long as their not assholes about it. (For example, see godhatesfags.com. I’m not even going to bother to link it, because I don’t want it connected to my page. Those people are assholes. According to them, everyone is going to hell except them, including the pope…)

I think there are some supernatural things that we can’t explain going on here on earth, but I’ve never truly encountered any of it. I don’t rule out the idea that there might be a god, or gods, but I don’t understand how Christian people can just pick and choose what they want to interpret as right and other people who call themselves Christians can believe the exact opposite. I’m sure that this frustrates some Christians as well. Since I’m the type of person who needs concrete evidence of everything, that leaves little room for faith. Believe it or not, I’m a fairly spiritual person. It’s not that I feel above organized religion, I just don’t have the discipline it takes to listen and not question. To accept everything that is given to me without a doubt. I can’t do that. I’d rather sit on my porch and feel the sun on my skin and wind on my face and feel the same peace and contentment that some people feel while praying the rosary. My discontent stems from the hatred that comes out of Christianity. I might be picking on Christian religions a little, but that’s what I know the most about. It’s all basically based around the same book. So how can you get so many different ideas out of it? God loves everybody… oh wait, except for the gay people…and women should be submissive…and an eye for an eye… wait… doesn’t it say that only God can judge? and so on and so on until people just project their hatred in the form of violence… like bombing an abortion clinic or busting out the windows of a gay couples home, all in the name of God.

Don’t get me wrong. There are lots of Christians that I’m very good friends with. My mom, although she hasn’t gone to church in years, still frowns on my agnostic nature. But I love her. Most of my friends are godless heathens though that believe in gay marriage and are pro-choice and hate Bush. Some are the opposite. I find it hard to talk to them about it, because I want to keep arguing my point but I know it’s a waste of breath. I know that nobody is going to change my opinions, so how could I possibly change anyone else’s?

Gah. See why it frustrates me? I don’t think that this is ever something that I’ll be able to find peace with.

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