Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Tuesday (Pre-menstrual) Shorts

I went to the store last night and bought anti-wrinkle cream. Mind you, it’s not the first time I’ve bought anti-wrinkle cream. But the other times that I bought it, I wasn’t on a mission. Last night I was on a mission to fight my fine lines. And the constellation of blemishes that are dancing across my cheek.

Every once in a while I forget how old I’m going to be on my next birthday. Does that happen to anyone else? I tend to make myself a year older. I was thinking, “am I really going to be 29?” No, I’m only 27. And the only reason I remembered that was that my birthday is on the 27th (of May, if you want to send presents… I’m kidding. Maybe.). I might have to start taking some Ginkgo biloba. That would probably solve my adult attention deficit also.

My boobs are enormous today. Last time I was in the bathroom I actually grabbed them to see if they feel as big as they look. They do. I’d blame it on my weight gain, but when I weighed myself a few days ago I only weighed 3 pounds more than usual. I think I just seem fatter to myself. It’s probably just a lack of daily movement that I was used to. And why is it that they hurt so much when it’s period time? Yesterday I felt like someone was using them as punching bags, but today they’re fine.

Speaking of punching bags, I watched the Contender last night and cried. Enough said.

Since I’ve had a lot more time to myself during the day, I’ve had a lot of time to focus on myself. My body image (not so good, except for today’s fabulous boobs), my face (I need a facial and some serious work done to my nose because I have a roadmap of broken capillaries around it), my marriage (my husband is my best friend, and I have a great marriage, if not a little rocky sometimes, but that’s mostly because of money, which is the stupidest reason to fight on earth), my religious beliefs (my biggest issue right now…I’m decidedly agnostic and most organized religion makes me intensely angry because of all the lies and hypocrisy and misogyny involved), and my friends (who I heart like family). It’s a serious thing, not being busy at your job. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve been neglecting myself and my thoughts.

I’d take a Midol, but I’d feel like I just smoked a joint. I'm trying to work here, people!

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