Thursday, September 02, 2004

Poor Little Me

I done pissed someone off with yesterday’s post. Hey, ya’ll (sorry, my inner southerner just came out), I welcome anyone with differing political views to say their piece here. I just ask that you do so respectfully, without slamming me or my friends that comment here. And if you’re going to do so, at least leave your homepage or email address so that I can respond directly. Ah, yes, the great thing about being an American is that we are allowed to have different opinions on just about everything. Without that right, life would be endlessly routine and boring, and there would be no room for debate. In a perfect world, we would all respect each other’s point of view, but, alas, we are far from perfect. I know I am, anyway. And I don’t think my negativity about the state of the nation’s economy constitutes me being a whiner. I certainly don’t like being generalized, and I’m sure nobody else does either. Nothing in this world is black and white, especially when it comes to individual people. There are many complexities that make me who I am. If you don’t know them, I am quite happy to share. This is the point of this little blog thing I’m doing. It’s not the story of my life or anything, just little day to day thoughts and comments.
And on that note, I like to make everyone laugh.
So here are some things that I didn’t say:

"President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the Kerry administration." —David Letterman

"The President and Mrs. Bush were on 'Larry King' last night and the president said, 'America is absolutely better off today than it was 4 years ago.' Then he said, 'Did I say America? I meant Chevron.'" —Bill Maher

"President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers." —Craig Kilborn

"Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon. The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam." —Jay Leno

"President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here." —David Letterman

"We make jokes about it but the truth is this presidential election really offers us a choice of two well-informed, opposing positions on every issue. OK, they both belong to John Kerry, but they're still there." —Jay Leno

"John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500 billion deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card." —Craig Kilborn

"Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton." —David Letterman

"Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible?" —Jon Stewart

"In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it." —Jay Leno

Everybody happy now? Good.

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