Thursday, September 30, 2004

Debate Debacle


First and foremost, a very happy birthday to Julie , who will be celebrating tonight by watching the debate (then maybe getting tattooed or pierced?), like I hope most of you are. Yes, there is no better way to kick off a weekend of partying like watching presidential debates. I’m having my own debate party at my camp. I’m pretty darn excited. After those plans, the weekend will be pretty much a free for all. Wackiness will ensue.

And now it’s time again for an E-Lo History Lesson!
Ok, boys and girls. As we know, tonight there will be a very heated debate, full of hot topics, such as the war on terror, the war in Iraq, the economy, and healthcare. But what were the topics of choice in former presidential debates, you ask? Well let me tell you!

In 1858, it was the Illinois Senate Debates. Abraham Lincoln and Stephen A. Douglas, both very stern looking gentlemen, I might add, said their piece regarding slavery and the Union. There were seven debates total, each 3 hours in length. The first candidate spoke for an hour, and the second spoke for and hour and a half, taking the first half hour to respond. I bet witty banter abounded in those debates!

In 1948, Oregon was the host of the Republican Presidential Primary Debate between Thomas Dewey and Harold Stassen. This was the first and last presidential debate limited to a single issue. Can anybody guess what that issue was? Abortion? Gay marriage? Welfare Reform? No, sir! It was all about outlawing the Communist party in the U.S. Was it held in a bunker? Nope, it was on the radio! Technology is an amazing thing.

Jumping ahead to 1960, the birth of modern debates, was the first televised General Election Presidential Debate between John F. Kennedy and Richard M. Nixon. These guys paved the way to the debates you see these days. There were four presidential debates and no vice presidential debates during the 1960 general election. They talked mostly about domestic issues, like the economy. The thing that was most remembered from the first televised debate was how the candidates looked. Yes, Americans wanted their candidates to be eye candy even back then! Kennedy took the cake in the looks department. Nixon was recovering from the flu and was pale and had lost weight. After the first debate, Nixon learned to wear dark suits and make-up! Pressing issues in 1960.

Moving even further ahead to 1992’s General Election Presidential Debate between Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Ross Perot. Now who doesn’t remember this one? I was in 9th grade… And if you think the phrase "Weapons of Mass Destruction" were coined by W., buddy, you are wrong! Clinton is quoted as saying in these debates, "We need to stop this proliferation of weapons of mass destruction." How about that? But we didn’t see him starting a war over it, did we? Speaking of war, how about that old war on drugs that we don’t hear much about anymore? Here’s what Bush had to say in 92, "The use of cocaine, for example, by teenagers is dramatically down." Teenagers. Not middle aged men, though. That’s all I have to say about that. Clinton responded by saying "But I know more about this, I think, than anybody else up here because I have a brother who's a recovering drug addict." Well, at least he admitted that. Somebody else in this debate had a family member who was an addict. Any guesses who, boys and girls?

So how will the 2004 General Election Presidential Debate turn out? Will there be blood and gore? Will chairs be thrown, like in baseball? Will the crowd boo and hiss? Should they just have a death match instead? The anticipation is mounting. I hope you all watch and tell me what you think.

Yeah...I wrote this last night at 3 a.m., so sorry if it sounds a little loopy. Well, off to pack my bags for my big party weekend. Hopefully I can get some good pictures of this crazy thing they call ALF. Alien life form, indeed. No, Autumn Leaf Festival... the only time of year when Clarion's population is over 100,000... It reminds me of an episode of the Family Guy that was on a couple nights ago, when all the leafers come to town. That's pretty much what Clarion is like right now. So I'm going to go add to the out of town population.

Everybody have a good weekend! I'm gonna make like a tree and leave. Oh, and don't forget to comment on my last post. Buh-bye.

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