Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The post where I finally bitch about my in laws

This post has been brewing for a while now. I don't talk much about my inlaws other than the fact that I have to live with their stuff and thankfully not with them. Don't get me wrong. They're wonderful people, and I love them. They're generous and kind and love my child. But dude, they piss me off sometimes.

As you know if you regularly read my blog, Ryan's mom is seriously ill. She has kidney failure and a broken ankle, and she's now on dialysis and has to have someone with her 24 hours a day, so that's why she's not living here and living with Ryan's aunt, 30 minutes north of Butler. The perfect distance.

Ryan's mom and I have come a long way. When we first started dating, she called me "what's her name," and didn't think it was rude at all. And that's the thing about his family, they're all kind of country bumpkins who are ignorant to people's feelings. It's not that they're trying to be rude, they just don't know any better.

Case in point: last week Ryan called his mother to tell him about my cousin being murdered. She is the absolute queen of gossip, so I'm sure everyone in the tri-state area knew about it, and knew that it was MY cousin and MY family. That's fine, whatever. But when I saw my MIL and FIL along with Ryan's aunt last week, they didn't offer any condolences, or well wishes for my family, not even a simple, "I'm sorry." Nothing. Thursday Ryan's dad stopped by and I told him I was getting ready to go to the funeral home, and he said, "Er, yeah, well, ok, have fun." How is that appropriate? A simple goodbye would have worked. On Sunday when we went to his aunt's house for dinner, it was finally acknowledged that my family suffered a tragedy.

His grandma asked me, "So that was your cousin that was killed last week?"


His grandpa: "She was a pretty woman, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was."

His grandpa: "Where was she shot? In the head?"


And that was the end of that conversation.

Like I said, I'm sure they're not TRYING to be rude, they're just so far out there that I'm sure it seems like the right thing to say. But in my world, it's not. Not at all.

Another thing that they like to say that really pisses me off is that Lyric is "strange." They use the word "strange" to mean that she's shy and awkward, but I disagree with that, because I'm around her all day. She likes things to be on her terms, and that especially includes interactions with people that she's not used to. When we take her out to his aunts, his grandma, his mom, and his aunt immediately want to grab her. They get right in her face and are loud and poke her cheeks and say stupid things and then when she cries, they say, "oh, she's strange. Oh, she doesn't like us. Are you sure she's not colicky? I think she has a belly ache. I think her mouth must be hurting."

It's enough to make me want to bitch slap someone. How about SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU IN HER FACE??? God, if someone was poking my cheeks and going "GOO GOO GOO" I'd be fucking pissed too.

Needless to say, Ryan and I always leave there with high stress levels.

Not that my family is perfect. Christ, I just spent the past week with my family. Half of them are out on bail. One of my cousins is a snitch, ratting out drug dealers because she got arrested for possession, her son is currently in jail for a probation violation, my other cousin has a broken knee because he got in a bar fight, my other cousin fled to Ohio because he ripped off half my family because he was a junkie (myself included), ALL of my family are pot smokers and drunks, except my dad (he just drinks), who would deny that any of them smoke pot, even though it's always completely obvious when they're gooned up, I mean, my cousin's ex broke into my uncle's house and used his hunting rifle to kill my cousin and himself.

Does that sound normal? I'm sure it makes Ryan's family look like angels.

Family. It's all about fun.

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