Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The “E” Stands for “Enemy”

I’m having a week chock full of revelations, and it’s only Tuesday. Yesterday I found out that the Princess Bride was actually written, not abridged, by William Goldman, and there’s no such person as S. Morgenstern. Color me stupid, but I had no idea. Goldman is a genius, he had me completely fooled. All this crazy shit about abridgements and what he was leaving out from Morgenstern’s original text and that he had a fat son and whatever. Amazing. I can’t believe I bought it. If you haven’t read it forget I just said all of that.

I also just came to the realization that I have a former enemy working with me at the teeny tiny company I work for. At least, I think she used to be my enemy… apparently I never gave it much thought… Anyway, she’s the sister-in-law of my asshole ex-boyfriend, you know, the guy that tried to control every aspect of my life down to the clothes I was allowed to wear (big baggy clothes) and the people I was allowed to hang out with (nobody). Jerk-face. Anyway, I’ve dubbed this girl “the unfriendly girl,” because she is the only person in the office who just doesn’t talk to me. She ignored me for 3 days last week until I jumped in front of her and said, “Hi! I don’t think I’ve met you yet,” and even then I got an unenthusiastic response. So this morning I was looking at the company directory, and I noticed that her last name was familiar. After racking my brain for a minute I discovered why I knew her last name, since her sister is now married to my asshole ex-boyfriend, who dated her sister before I did, and when I dumped his sorry ass went running back to her and impregnated her right away.

However, I remember the girl I work with because when I was dating Mr. Asshole, she tried numerous attempts to get him to break up with me so that her sister could get back together with him. I don’t remember what those attempts were exactly, there were so many problems with so many different girls while I was dating him that nothing in particular sticks out, so it must not have been anything creative… like the girl that continually vandalized my car until my brother slashed her tires. Sweet, huh? Oh, to be 20 again and have a 16 year old girl chasing your boyfriend.

But this could be why this girl is unfriendly with me, don’t you think? I never did anything to her, but she sure tried to pull some shit on me. Well, the jokes on her, since she’s stuck with my ex as her brother-in-law. Oh, it makes me giggle a little. But it’s just amazing how many enemies I have that I’m not even aware of. Girls have always hated me. I mean, I was never a super-friendly person, I’m naturally shy. SHY, people! Get me drunk and then I’m friendly. There’s an amazing number of people over the years that once I charmed them with my great sense of humor and wonderful personality, said, “you know, I always thought you were such a bitch.” Wha-huh? Yep. Me. A bitch. And I can be, but I don’t try to be a bitch to people I don’t know unless they give me good reason to be.

Oh well, I’m just going to continue to be nice. It’s not like she cost me anything. In fact she was probably a push in the right direction to get rid of him. She wouldn’t be the first girl involved in our break up somehow that I’m friendly with. I spent the last couple weekends hanging out with the girl that moved in with him when he moved out of state (and yes, we were still dating, and no, we haven’t brought him up yet… but I’m waiting for it). So it’s nothing new. Or I could just acknowledge that I know who she is and get it out in the open to let her know it doesn’t bother me. That would be the adult thing to do, right?

I’m really rambling now. It’s a slow day. I like my new job a lot, but my boss doesn’t give me a whole lot of direction. He gives me an assignment and gives me like 3 days to do it when it’s something that will take me 20 minutes. I think he thinks he’s breaking me in slowly. I’ll just let him think whatever he wants for now because once he susses out what a smarty pantz I am I probably won’t have much free time.

On to hopefully more meaningful revelations…

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