Sleep Nazi
That’s what I’ve become. Lyric and I share the bed. Before we moved, for probably the past month, Ryan has been sleeping on the couch. Somehow I turned into the princess that had the pea under her mattress. We’ve had our queen sized bed since we first lived together. We got it for free from a friend of my mother. Needless to say, it’s fairly worn out, what with all the stone cold drunk passed out nights and more recently, all the baby making. I like to nurse Lyric in bed, it’s how she falls asleep, and the old bed just wasn’t up to par. It was already on a slant, and with Ryan laying on one side, it was like he was just weighing his side down and Lyric and I were ready just to roll right into him. I was afraid she’d roll over on to her face. So we tried the air mattress. That worked for one night, and the next night I had to relocate Lyric and myself to the couch. Since then, Ryan has slept on the couch.
I feel bad about it. I know he hates being kicked out of the bed, and personally, I miss sleeping with my husband. I miss a lot of intimacy with my husband these days, but that’s to be expected with a small infant in the house. As Dooce would say, we have yet to “reconvene the procedure.” I’m a little scared for that moment to come, but that’s a post for another day.
Moving didn’t help our situation either. Ryan’s parents have a tiny full sized bed at their house. It’s older than dirt. We tried to sleep in it the other night, and as I was lying there nursing Lyric, Ryan plopped down on the bed and as he did so, it managed to sink Lyric down enough to break her latch on my boob. I know you ladies who have breastfed know what it’s like when your baby pulls off your nipple hard. It’s not a nice feeling.
So Ryan went back to the couch. However, Ryan is 6’4. The couch at his mom’s house is a loveseat. So it just doesn’t work. Our couch, which is now in storage, is a good 7 feet long and wide enough for 2 adults to comfortably sleep on side by side. It too is old and worn out and I know one of these days we’ll get a new couch and it will never be the same.
Anyway, Ryan has been bugging me about moving Lyric to the co-sleeper so she can start to learn to sleep on her own, and I’ve been afraid of doing that. But last night she slept through the entire night. I was the one who woke up and was like, “hey, why haven’t you made me switch sides yet?” My left boob had soaked my AC/DC shirt, so I had to rouse her a little to wake up and eat. Then I was like, “HOLY SHIT!” You slept almost a good 6 hours without waking up!”
*begin whine* But I don’t waaaant to moooove her to her co-sleeeeeperrrrrr! I want my snuggly baby beside me AND my husband! Why can’t I just have a brand new king sized bed??? Oh, because I don’t have two fucking thousand dollars to buy one.
Don’t you get a tax credit for having a kid? How much is that exactly???
I feel bad about it. I know he hates being kicked out of the bed, and personally, I miss sleeping with my husband. I miss a lot of intimacy with my husband these days, but that’s to be expected with a small infant in the house. As Dooce would say, we have yet to “reconvene the procedure.” I’m a little scared for that moment to come, but that’s a post for another day.
Moving didn’t help our situation either. Ryan’s parents have a tiny full sized bed at their house. It’s older than dirt. We tried to sleep in it the other night, and as I was lying there nursing Lyric, Ryan plopped down on the bed and as he did so, it managed to sink Lyric down enough to break her latch on my boob. I know you ladies who have breastfed know what it’s like when your baby pulls off your nipple hard. It’s not a nice feeling.
So Ryan went back to the couch. However, Ryan is 6’4. The couch at his mom’s house is a loveseat. So it just doesn’t work. Our couch, which is now in storage, is a good 7 feet long and wide enough for 2 adults to comfortably sleep on side by side. It too is old and worn out and I know one of these days we’ll get a new couch and it will never be the same.
Anyway, Ryan has been bugging me about moving Lyric to the co-sleeper so she can start to learn to sleep on her own, and I’ve been afraid of doing that. But last night she slept through the entire night. I was the one who woke up and was like, “hey, why haven’t you made me switch sides yet?” My left boob had soaked my AC/DC shirt, so I had to rouse her a little to wake up and eat. Then I was like, “HOLY SHIT!” You slept almost a good 6 hours without waking up!”
*begin whine* But I don’t waaaant to moooove her to her co-sleeeeeperrrrrr! I want my snuggly baby beside me AND my husband! Why can’t I just have a brand new king sized bed??? Oh, because I don’t have two fucking thousand dollars to buy one.
Don’t you get a tax credit for having a kid? How much is that exactly???
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