Friday, July 13, 2007

There’s nothing quite as bad as...

Giving your baby an enema. It’s like clubbing a baby seal. Only you know that something good is going to come of it, like a giant log of weird yellowish baby poo – and a happy and relieved baby. But the act of giving an enema in itself is something that nobody should ever have to do. Especially to a small child.

My kid gets constipated. I can’t figure out why – I think it has something to do with cows milk – although she’s not allergic. Since I weaned her and she’s upped her milk intake, she’s been constipated more often. And when she hasn’t taken a crap, she’s more than unhappy. She’s a tyrant. She’s a demon. Never have I wanted to see poop more badly in her diaper in my life.

It’s awful to watch her try to poop when she’s constipated. She hides behind the recliner, holds on for dear life, starts to get really red – and that’s when the screaming begins. The screams of her trying to poop are much different from any other scream – they’re almost inhuman. And you can’t help but pick her up and hold her and try to ease some of the pain – if there even is a way of easing the pain of something too big trying to come out of your baby sized pooper.

Poor kid.

I’m looking forward to a splattery poop filled weekend. Seriously.

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