Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Win some, lose some

In our collective efforts at baby making, we were successful. For a minute.

I took a pregnancy test on Thursday. I could faintly see a second line. Not satisfied with that, I ran to the store and bought one of the digital readout tests - I will never resort to buying cheap pregnancy tests again. Peed on a stick, and there it was, "pregnant." Whoa! That was fast!

I told Ryan later in the evening, and he was surprised, but proud of himself. His efforts mean a lot to him. We made plans to tell our parents on Christmas Eve, and were pretty damn excited.

Something woke me up early Sunday, and I went to the bathroom and realized I was bleeding. Then the cramps started, which I would liken to labor pains. Not nearly as intense, but because I rarely get cramps even when I have my period, they were pretty crazy. I knew what was happening, and I was not happy. At all.

Thankfully the cramping part didn't last long - when you're already a mom, other things distract you from your own drama - which can be a good thing sometimes. I went to the doctor yesterday and my test result was negative - and they told me my pregnancy test results could have been a false positive, or a very, very early miscarriage. I vote for the latter. I know I was pregnant - I could feel it. I recognized it. I could smell EVERYTHING.

So it's back to the drawing board for us - and although it sucks, it makes me appreciate that I have a healthy, although BRATTY, little girl. I love her more than anything, and I'm so thankful that I have her in my life.

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