Monday, July 13, 2009

Weighty Issues

It's been quite a couple of weeks. Things have been going BADLY in my life.

1. My eyes have regressed. I can no longer see without the aid of glasses. And the glasses that I have - oh my LORD. I so need to upload a photo of me in them. They're my mom's glasses from when she had her lasik done 10 years ago - the same thing happened to her eyes. Turns out that I have my mom's eyes - in more ways than one. We had the same prescription, surgery, and same regression. I'm going to have to have an enhancement done, which is fine. If my eyes keep the trend of following my mom's, I shouldn't have a problem.

2. My jobs BLOW right now. End of story. And I'm so unmotivated. I'm not sure why I'm unmotivated. My new classes start today, and I have so many projects at work-work. The more projects I get, the less inclined I feel to work. It's a terrible downward spiral. I just want a vacation.

3. My relationship with my husband was getting rocky there for a while. There were lots of reasons, and I don't want to get into any of them, but I will admit that I was at fault for most of it. I'm a terrible communicator for someone who has a bachelors and masters in COMMUNICATION. I have to learn to put my fears to rest, and not let my insecurities get the best of me. Thankfully, we're better now than we have been in years, because we put everything out there and had some heart to heart conversations over the past few weeks. I'm very optimistic about US. We're a team.

4. Speaking of insecurities, I have some ISSUES with my ass. It's getting huge. It's amazing how quickly weight can creep back on to me since I had a kid. I was doing great for a while - going to the gym, keeping track of what I was doing with food... then I had my eye surgery and couldn't exercise for a few weeks, and my gym trips became pretty sporadic. And my thighs are once again out of control. I'm less than happy about this, so I just signed up for Weight Watchers online, and I really really hope I can stick it out. Because I have to do something. Oh, and pilates. Pilates helps.

So I woke up today with a new outlook. I need to get my shit together, and fast, because if I don't, the world will start crashing down on me. I've got to turn a new leaf, and I'm trying like hell. My main goal is to be a role model for my daughter - who isn't afraid to say, "mom, you have a big butt." She's the kick in the ass I've always needed.

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