Ok, so you know by now I have issues with my weight. I can't stick with a diet, I'm lazy and unmotivated, and I have terrible self esteem. I lost 30 pounds after having Lyric by following Weight Watchers and doing the only Winsor Pilates aerobic workout out there, which was 60 minutes in length. I was unemployed then, so I had a lot of time. I was also breastfeeding, which I think helped. Since I weaned Lyric a year and half ago I've gained back 15 pounds.
I'm now doing this Biggest Loser competetion at work, and so far after 3 weeks, I've only lost 3 pounds (and I think I gained it back after Lyric's birthday party on Saturday). I figure the only way I'm going to lose is by doing cardio/strength training, with maybe some pilates in there for my abs.
Can I tell you how much I HATE cardio? I hate jumping around, being soaked in sweat (because I sweat more than the average woman), and I hate taking time out of my day to do it. But I made up my mind that I HAVE to. Because this weight isn't coming off by dieting.
So on Sunday, I opened up my latest Netflix, which was Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I don't know what even convinced me to put this at the top of my queue, since it's not anything that I would have ever chosen normally. But I tried it Sunday morning and was pretty amazed. It's only 20 minutes or so, and she combines weights, cardio, and ab work with 3 levels of intensity. I did level 1, being in the poorest shape of my life, and literally thought I might DIE. I was sweaty and shaking and OH MY GOD did my legs hurt on Monday. Needless to say, since I found it difficult to walk on Monday, I took the day off, but I resumed last night.
Here's the wierd thing - I know I've only done it twice, but I actually feel... how should I put this? More solid? I haven't weighed myself, and I highly doubt that I've lost any weight, but I can feel the muscles that I forgot I had - getting stronger. My stomach feels flatter. It's so weird.
So I'm going to keep at it for 30 Days - I've only read glowing review of this and how people got so in shape and went from a size 8 to a 4 in 10 weeks, etc. I figure if they can do it, why the hell can't I?
My husband told me the other day that I'm bordering on obsessive compulsive when it comes to my weight, and it's disturbing. Since I already have some OCD tendancies it's probably true. But I just want to feel better. I can't stand feeling like I do - and I'm the only one who is going to do anything about it. I think if I document it here, it will help. So watch for my updates.