Thursday, January 25, 2007

Baked Bean Face

Mmm... beans.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Did you know...

I’m working two jobs right now. My day job, as a graphic designer extraordinairre, and my night job, teaching an online class as a graphic design instructor. Both keep me extremely busy... and that’s not even including my other full time jobs as mother, housekeeper, poop picker-upper, fish feeder, puppy wrangler, wife, and sex kitten. Ok, so I made up the sex kitten part. It’s just fun to say. Like, “yeah, you know, I’m a sex kitten. Meow.” But yeah, that’s not me. I’m more of a lazy old cat who likes to fall asleep in the sunny spot on the floor. That is, if I didn’t have so many jobs. But they’re jobs that I like, so it’s ok. Someone’s got to bring home the proverbial bacon. Mmm. Bacon.

My child started walking last Friday. Again, all it took was a post on my blog to seemingly make this happen. Look for my post tomorrow about how I never win the lottery. Anyway, I happened to look over and there she was, teetering along, cautiously taking a few steps. It made me so proud. I’m the mother of a toddler. She still prefers to crawl because it gets her where she wants to go faster, but as I tell her, practice makes perfect.

I’ve lived in my house for 7 months and I still haven’t gotten around to fixing up my kitchen, my bathroom, my office, or the bedrooms. The only place that has had any work done to it is the basement, where our bar now resides. Now I have more of an excuse to get drunk and not do things. Having a bar and a husband who is currently unemployed for the season is hazardous in some ways, mainly because you never know who’s going to be sleeping the in the guest room when you stumble down the stairs to take a shower in the morning. And because the guest room is next door to the bathroom, it’s good to check to see if anyone is there or else you’ll end up showering with the door open and someone will wake up to a suprise when they wake up and see you in there through the transparent shower curtain. Thankfully that’s never happened. But you can imagine if it did.

I’m back on my weight loss kick. Since I got pretty lazy over the last half of the year, I decided to kick my butt into gear and start eating healthy and doing pilates again. So far, it’s helping. I feel better, physically. I don’t care if I ever get skinny again, if I do, it’s a bonus. I just want to be healthy and somewhat in shape. I think that’s a good goal. I’m the kind of person who sets their goals too high and that makes me give up. So I’m starting small.

Next week Ryan starts working at the same company that I work at, which might seem strange, but he’ll be in another location doing a completely different job. He’s excited to get out of paving, which seriously, isn’t suprising. This job is different from any he’s ever done, and I really hope that he likes it, because it may be a shock to his system for a while. Although it’s got to beat standing on 300 degree asphalt on a 95 degree day in 90 percent humidity. And there’s no danger of being run over by a roller.

And that’s it. For now.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Finally, some good news...

Making my week.

I am so looking forward to 2008, which will be a year of change for the better. Because it literally cannot get any worse.

Can it?

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Walking Baby Blues

Lyric is soon to be 14 months old.

She has not taken a step yet.

People ask me all the time, "is she walking all over the place now?" I, of course, tell them no, that she's not walking yet, that she's taking her good sweet time with learning so that I will continue having to change her diapers until she's in kindergarten.

Often people are amazed that she doesn't walk yet, because you know, some kids start walking right out of the womb.

I often have to gently remind my family and those concerned with the fact that she hasn't started training for marathons yet that she also took her good sweet time coming out of my body. Remember that, people? When I was swollen for months on end and I had a rash and a bad back and peed when I sneezed and my wrists and fingers and ankles and feet and face looked like overstuffed sausages? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I'm not terribly concerned about it, because I know once it happens my world will change. To me, she's still my baby, and because she doesn't walk, it makes her more baby-like. I'm secretly afraid that when she takes that first step, it will be the first step of her independence, when she won't need her mommy as much any more, and we'll be that much closer to her being 15 and slamming her bedroom door in my face after telling me that she's a Republican and blaring loud terrible pop music.

That's when I'll be wishing she'd pierce her nose and shave her hair into a mohawk.

In conclusion: walking... overrated.

Monday, January 08, 2007

My day at DUI court

Some of you may remember that my brother was in a terrible car accident over the summer. It was slow going for him for a while, but he’s healed up nicely and moved to California, where he’s doing an externship for culinary school. He loves it out there and is very happy with life right now. He still has a bit of pain from his injuries, and probably always will, but we’re happy that he’s alive and doing so well. His friend that he was in the accident with is still suffering from the traumatic brain injury that he sustained. He has trouble concentrating, remember things, comprehending what people are telling him, etc. But today he started his first day back at college, with help, of course. Hopefully this will start him on his way to becoming close to normal soon.

Today was the sentencing of the driver that hit them. I’ve never been to court before in my life, so I didn’t know what to expect. This was my first time in Butler County Courthouse (I was there one time on business to drop something off, but didn’t wander around much). I was actually amazed that there’s a building in Butler that looks like that one does… it’s like a museum almost.

105 DUI cases were sentenced today. It was the weirdest scene imaginable. I didn’t see all of the sentencing, thank the lord, but the ones I did see pretty much lined up in front of the judge like they were going through a line in the cafeteria. The judge told them their sentence, said some official mumbo jumbo, and sent them on their way. I saw 2 people leave in cuffs. I saw one man in a striped prison jump suit. Then they got to the cases like the one we were dealing with, where there were victims involved.

After what seemed like an eternity, they called the name of the guy that crashed into my brother and his friend. He was exactly what I had pictured in my mind, tall, skinny, kind of dirty looking. He was visibly shaking in front of the judge. It worsened when my brothers friend’s mother got up to read her statement, and begged the judge to give him jail time.

He told the judge that he has three kids and needs to work to support them. He walked away with a slap on the wrist, 17 days of house arrest, a small amount of restitution to pay to my brother and his friends, some classes that he has to attend.

I know that people make mistakes. It’s life. Sometimes you wish you could go back and change things, but you know you can’t. I’m sure that’s the way this man (I call him that only because he has three children and obviously has to support them… he’s only 21) feels. But it’s not me that has to be satisfied about that sentence. It’s my brother. I’ll find out what he has to say tomorrow. I have a feeling that he’s not going to be happy.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Rocky the Wonder Pup

Ok, ok... so he's not THAT bad. It seems like it took a post on my blog bitching about him for him to turn around. Seriously... in like a day, he's gotten better. And sweeter. Sure, he's still nipping my ankles from time to time, but hey, he's a pup.

Last night we took him to the vet. He's perfectly healthy, and he got his first round of shots. Later on last evening, I was lounging on the couch, and he crawled up beside me, curled up, and passed out. It was nice to have a furry friend to cuddle with.

I think what was perturbing me most about Rocky, was that I wasn't feeling the bond with him that I've had with dogs in the past. This morning I went downstairs to let him out of his crate, and I realized that at some point last night before Ryan locked him in, he had taken one of my clean shirts off of the drying rack into his crate to curl up with. You might think that I'd be pissed about that, but I actually found it pretty endearing... he wanted his mama close.

Awww...

Yep, he got me on that one. We're buds now.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Rocky: Ruining my expectations of what raising a dog is like

The puppy.

Or more precisely, “GAH. THAT STUPID DOG.”

You know, back before I had children, and I thought that I never wanted children, I wanted dogs. I’ve always been a dog lover. I was raised my entire life owning a dog. There was Ben, my beagle that lived to a ripe old age and died. Muffin, my dashaund that ran away after a week. Pongo, the dimwitted dalmation that pissed all over the house until finally one day, he disapeared. Lady, the friendly mutt whose only downfall was that she loved to run... and eat garbage. The day she barfed maggots all over the dining room floor was the day she went to live on a farm. Honey, the tiny, sweet little Yorkie that got smushed by a heavy oak chair. And Rosie and Peanut, those yappy little terriers who live with my mom and dad.

Ok, so maybe all of “my” dogs were actually my mom and dad’s dogs. But I did own a cat once. He was the best pet ever. I miss that cat. Mostly because he didn’t constantly pee under my Christmas tree and poop behind the recliner on a daily basis, or nip at my ankles in an attempt to continually herd me, like that stupid mutt ROCKY.

I love that dog and hate that dog all at once. He’s cute when he’s sleeping. He’s not so cute when he’s in biting puppy mode.

Obedience classes are in the picture, mostly because I think both Ryan and I are clueless as to how to train and discipline this dog.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good dog... for the most part. But there have been a few times, like last night, when we were playing and he latched on to my cheek. Or leg. Or hand. And let me tell you how much Lyric enjoys when he chomps her fingers.

It’s much easier to raise a child than it is a dog. Although when you combine the two, life gets much more complicated. And then your kid starts biting you and whacking your dog on the nose because that’s what she sees all day.

So here’s the deal. I don’t want to be my next door neighbors. When we told them we got a dog, they looked at each other in horror and both said, “WHY???” with looks of shock and terror on their faces as if we had just told them that we were solely responsible for the Holocaust. Turns out that they got their son a dog a few years back, and it sounds to me like they were dog training failures. The dog ran wild through the neighborhood, one time holding up a baseball game because it was on the field and my neighbor couldn’t catch it. The last straw came when it jumped on a little kid down the street and broke his glasses. The entire family of the kid showed up at their house fairly enraged, and the neighbors had to pay the eye doctor bill. Soon after, the dog went bye-bye. They didn’t say where the dog went, but I had the eerie feeling it involved a shot gun and a shovel.

I don’t want that to be me. Or my dog.

So, dog owners, and I know there are a lot of you that read this... give me your training advice. I realize that Rocky is a puppy, and while I’m not terribly offended by his pooping and peeing in the house, it’s his jumping and biting that worry me. How do I stop that without using force? It’s easy to get frustrated and swat the dog on the nose or the bum, but I don’t want to do that, especially with Lyric around, because she’ll start to think that that’s how you’re supposed to treat a dog. And that’s a no-no.

HELP.